Pastor's Weekly Musing

Hey everyone!

In 2003, when I was playing a baseball season in Midland, Texas (Double-A), I had an interesting experience that shook me, quite honestly. I was engaged to Portia, but we were in separate states and only able to talk on the phone, so in all honesty, I kinda stopped looking after myself a bit. I ate out way more often than when she's around, I worked out less, you name it. I let myself go, and it began to show.

Some of my coaches and teammates tried to gently make me aware of the extra poundage I was carrying, but I was certain they were over-exaggerating. Sure, I could tighten up a bit, but it was no big deal, I thought. Until this one day came.

I was warming up to come into a game, and the coach decided to put me in. I jogged toward the mound from the left field bullpen, and as I was jogging in, I took a peek at the scoreboard to see what the score was. As I looked, the jumbo screen showed someone running. It was a guy wearing my team's uniform, but I didn't recognize who it was.

I remember thinking, Who is that? He's on our team (obviously), but I've never seen him. He's got brown hair, a small goatee, and is pretty heavy-set, almost chunky. Who is that??

I still remember the feeling in the pit of my stomach when I realized: that's me.

Oh man. They were right: all my coaches, my teammates, everybody. I was almost unrecognizable, even to myself. I'm not sure how I even got through that game, but it started a long journey of being honest with myself about my health and lifestyle choices. It was brutal, but I'm glad it was finally revealed to me.

David talks about this kind of eye-opening moment in one of his Psalms. To be sure, he's had his fair share of unexpected moments like that, where the truth about himself that he's been denying is thrust upon him. The story of the prophet Nathan confronting him about Bathsheba and Uriah comes to mind. That was an unexpected "jumbo screen" moment for David.

But in this Psalm, he's talking about asking God to do the revealing up front, to show him now. In Psalm 139:23-24 he says, "Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." NIV

David basically asks God: show me on the jumbo screen! All of my faults, failures, insecurities, ugliness, and sin: reveal it to me so I can start the process of cleaning it out with Your help, Lord. He actually asks God, "Search me!"

That's not an easy prayer. I'd rather hide, I'd rather hold on to my excuses for my actions, I'd rather blame others, I'd rather explain it away. It's not the funnest thing in the world to have your "stuff" put on the jumbo screen. But God, in His kindness, will often wound us in order to heal us. He'll reveal an area of our lives that's no longer working, in order for Him to clean us up.

But like David, we can join God in this. We can invite Him in. For example, before we talk about a conflict with someone, we can ask God, "Where am I off in this? Where am I missing it? Am I way off base here, Lord? Show me where I'm adding to the conflict, where my perspective is off. Search me!"

Or before I make a big decision, we can ask God "Tell me if I'm not thinking straight here, Lord. What are my fears and motivations behind this? I need you to test me, to know me."

Or in the middle of a difficult season, where I feel distant from God and I'm doubting His love and purpose for me, we can ask God, "Why the disconnect? Why do I know the truth but it's not effecting my actual life? Why the anxiety? Lead me, Lord!"

Try it this week. When there's ugliness in my life, that jumbo screen experience is coming one way or another. I can be shocked by it unexpectedly. Or I can ask God to guide me through it. Let's choose the right way, because when we do, we can be confident that He'll "lead us in the way everlasting."

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This week at Meadows:

- Monday Prayer Meeting is OFF this week. Back at it on February 22.
- Wednesday at 7 PM: Youth Group AND Adult Bible Study (no kids church)

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Mark your calendars: Men's Breakfast is coming! Saturday, March 13, at 9 AM. More details to follow.

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This Sunday, we'll continue the series Q & A: Questions Jesus Asked.

Last week, we looked closely at the time Jesus asked some guys that were thinking of following Him, "What are you looking for?" It stunned them, just like a good question often can.

This week, we'll fast-forward around 3 years, when the same group of guys were still with Jesus, but now after a long stretch of serious ministry. In Matthew 16, Jesus takes them to a far-away location, away from the normal ministry routine, and asked them what they really thought of Him.

But He didn't ask in an insecure way, wasn't looking for affirmation or even appreciation. He, like all of His questions, was getting to the bottom of their true thoughts, because that's where He can bring the true healing -- and freedom!

Join us this Sunday for Part 2 - Who do you say I am?

Click HERE to register for this Sunday, and you can click HERE to get connected to our Sunday service online.

Looking forward to seeing many of you on the walkway and the rest of you in the YouTube comments!

Pastor Ronnie